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The Proud Franchise

« XXLMag.com | Negro Please: Knuck If You [Young] Buck | Main | The Proud Franchise: Stephon Marbury is the NBA's Answer to Mike Tyson »

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

XXLMag.com | Negro Please: Diddy's Orange Alert

[*clanks Coke bottles together* DIDDY BLOG, BITCHES!!!]

Oh, how I miss Puff Daddy’s affinity for the dramatic. This Cloverfield shit here proudly displays the acting ability that got Diddy bumped from Any Given Sunday in favor of Jamie Foxx.

I’ve never seen someone have so much trouble reading a prompter, especially when they wrote the shit themselves on Microsoft Word.

This is the level of thespian prowess that kept A Raisin In The Sun going on Broadway. I remember being able to hear Paul Robeson jostle in his grave when it was announced that Puffy would be playing Walter Lee Younger.

It sounded like bittersweet Chocolate Rain… on a Showboat.

Puff must have gotten entirely too high watching X-Men or some shit. Maybe it was a zombie movie. Some crazy combination of chronic and Kennedy Fried Chicken got ol’ Dolphin Teeth over here tombout vaccines and infections.

I’m sure when you hit the free clinic for your bitchassness treatment you’ll find Puffy in Dr. Carter’s office with his pants at his ankles… just like Cassie did.

(Continue reading "XXLMag.com | Negro Please: Diddy's Orange Alert")

Posted by at 01:27 PM in "Negro, Please!": XXLMag.com, Music, Weblogs |

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Ron Mexico Slanguistics

  • DN (n.) -
    Dumb Nigga. (abbr.)
  • Malbum (n.) -
    Mixtape/album. A project that blurs the line between the two entities. There are both positive and negative examples of these. Most negative examples are packaged and sold by Amalbum Digital, baby!
  • Whoonery (n.) -
    White coonery.
  • Negromantic (adj.) -
    Stereotypically negrous love story. Romantic scenario manufactured for black entertainment. [See: Negromatic Comedy (genre)]
  • Urban (n.) -
    Negrous in nature. Of or pertaining to Negro culture. Used in popular media to describe black shit without saying "black shit."
  • Mulletor (n.) -
    1. One who wears a mullet. 2. One of hillbilly descent. (pron.: "Skeletor")
  • Gnome Sane - (n., v., ques.)
    You know what I'm sayin'? (phonetic, colloquial)
  • Rapster (n.) -
    1. Rap performer (derogatory). 2. Hipster rapper (i.e.: Cool Kids)
  • Ashy Diamond (n.) -
    Bermuda Triangle-esque region on back where hands are unable to reach for lotion application (variable).
  • Cropdusting (v.) -
    Blunt augmentation via foreign substances, usually of the opiate orientation. (See: MTW)
  • Coonery (n.) -
    Coon-like behavior. Anything associated with the Flavor of Love franchise. Farnsworth Bentley's day job.
  • SDN (n.) -
    Smart Dumb Nigga. (See: Katt Williams, The Pimp Chronicles Vol. 1; Ghostface, The World According to Pretty Toney) (abbr.)
  • MTW (n., adj.) -
    More Than Weed. Laced greenery (i.e.: Woolahs). (PSA: Don't hit the blunt if you don't know/trust whoever rolled it, children.)
  • Whitney Diet (n.) -
    Cocaine in a can, baby!
  • Touchdown (n.) -
    A nigga that ain't all the way retarded, but just got a touch of Down's [Syndrome]. (i.e. Chris Brown)
  • The Negro Channel (n.) -
    Black Embarrassment Television (see: BET). Abbreviated as "TNC."
  • Snapper (n.) -
    One who performs snap music. A Franchize Boy. A Soulja Boy.
  • NPS (n.) -
    Niggas Per Sentence average. Amount of times the "n"-word is used in a single sentence.
  • ManBearPig (n.) -
    A dangerous mythical beast spawned from the imagination of Al Gore. A nickname for Tiffany "New York" Pollard's mother, Sister Patterson.
  • CB4 (n.) -
    Cock Block [Level] 4. A nickname for Tiffany "New York" Pollard.
  • Cank Stoochie (n.) -
    Nether-regions in dire need of hygienic attention. Nappy minor-league dugout. (see: Flavor of Love)
  • Blented (adj.) -
    Blunted + Bent. Twisted. Slizzard.
  • Blent (n.) -
    Black Lent. Ron Mexico's unofficial 40-day period of reflection and lament spanning from Dr. Martin Luther King, jr. Day through the end of short-ass Black History Month.
  • BDP (n.) -
    Black Diabetes Pandemic. Kool-Aid induced-suffering. The reason Big Mama lost her leg. The new Black Plague.
  • Niggaball (n.) -
    A sport likening basketball, but covered in Lawry's Seasoned Salt. AND 1 Mixtape Tour. Basketball-esque performance sorely lacking in fundamental skills. (see: Philip "Hot Sauce" Champion)

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